Working Mommy

So Ive been back to work going on 4 weeks now, and Ive had a lot of people ask me how its has been going, so I figured I would write about it.

**Side note**
For those who dont know, I work in Group Life Insurance. You know those little handbooks you get that explain your benefits to you but that you probably didnt read (Dental Insurance, Life Insurance) well I make those, and the main Contract that your Employer keeps.

First off, going back was super annoying.
When its 10am and I am sitting in the lunchroom eating my snack, with my work clothes on, dont ask me if Im back.
Of course Im back.
I didnt break in, wearing nice clothes and high heels, to eat my yogurt in a building full of people I dont know(and the rest I barely like!).
Use your head.
Also, its no coincident that over a period of 9 months I got increasingly plumper and rounder and then suddenly I was gone.
I did not get fired for getting too fat, and then they suddenly rehired me back about a year later.
Again, use your head.

Now that THATS out of the way, lets get started!

Going back was also about as hard as I thought it would be.
I cried 3 different times the 1st day. I didnt think I would miss him that much. Ive been without him overnight a few times now, so going to work was going to be easy, right?
I had no problem leaving him, I knew HE would be fine, but it was the fact that I couldnt just go pick him up, or talk to him, or kiss him that sucked.

It took DAYS to get all of my systems back up and running, and took 2 fricken weeks for me to even get a phone and another week to get my number working properly again.
Super great customer service skills!

And speaking of systems...
I was testing a new system for about 6 months before I went on Mat Leave, and during my time off the new system went into production and everyone starting using it.
Testing a system is completely different than actually functionally using it.
Found this out the hard way as well.

I went back to work really cocky.
Meaning, I thought I remembered a lot of stuff.
I also helps that I work with Mark, so he would always come home and tell me about the different updates that we were doing to this new system, so I felt like I had an inside advantage.
Long story short when I got back to work I was told I was not going to be using the new system until after our big rush time of January, and that I would be in the old system.
WOHOO! I thought.
I know that system like the back of my hand.

Well, turns out that was a lie, and I was thrown out to sink or swim.
I have a really big problem of not asking for help, and my work has a really big problem of not offering help.
I have spent DAYS going through 2364 emails (yup, thats how many emails I had received in my year off), looking through different job aides and asking questions, but I am just not retaining this information!
While I do love a challenge at my job(I hate sitting around doing nothing), i consider a challenge to be making a non swimmer swim to the end of the deep pool and back on his first try, not plopping him in the Atlantic Ocean and making him find his way back to dry land.
Toe-May-Toe.
Toe-Mah-Toe.

As well as a new system, I also have a new Manager.
When I left we had a Manager(who has since got promoted twice) and a Team Lead (aka Supervisor).
My Team Lead was awesome to talk to, got things done, and kept me running smoothly.
She went on Mat Leave about a month before I did, and decided to stay at home with her little girl (jealous!) so thats something else that has also changed.

Our new Manager came from a different area, Annuities (American RRSP's) and doesnt have an extensive Group Life Insurance back round.
This means I have to rely heavily on my coworkers who are busy doing their own work, and dont have time to be my teacher.

So for me, all of that has been a challenge...no wait....headache.


Something else that is very different for me is the "friendships".
People that were attached like Siamese Twins are not speaking, and others who talked endlessly about each other behind their backs are going to lunch together.
I swore I graduated high school waaaay back in 2002?
I think I am going to keep to myself, and not get wrapped up in the drama and potential BS.
I am not a chick who has a problem sitting by myself eating my lunch!


Outside of work has also been hectic.
On Mondays we bowl so we feed Carter supper and thats it. I sneak into his room and kiss him goodnight when we get home around 10 and its bed time.
Tuesdays and Thursdays I go to Step Class at the gym at suppertime.
This means I pick Carter up after work(ish) and spend about an hour or so with him at home, and by the time I get home from the gym and inhale some supper, its his bed time.
I work at 6am so most times when I see Carter in the morning hes screaming his face off cuz he is up way too early and is tired.
Lately he has been better about sleeping, so on any given Tuesday/Thursday I see him for 2 hrs.
And just cuz he's in bed doesnt mean my day ends.
Theres still lunches to pack, dishes to wash, toys to clean up, you name it!
By the time 8pm rolls around Im exhausted, my feet hurt and I just want to read a book and lights out by 930.

I feel like these 4 weeks have been so slow at work, but so fast when I get home.
It will be Christmas before we know it, then busy time hits at work.
I will be at work from darkness in the morning till darkness at night.
I'll be lucky if some days I even get to see him.

I dont know how people with 2 kids do it!
I cannot picture us having another any time soon, its so tiring!


So there you have it!
Going back sucks, but I have bills to pay and Im not the first working Mom, so I know its possible!

Twelve

Holy crap, we made it :)
Ive only cried twice about it so far (tears of joy), but it is only noon ;)

MY BABY IS ONE!!!!

Its hard to believe that 365 days ago I was laboring at home, still hours away from going to the hospital and giving birth to my sweet little redheaded boy.

In some ways, it seems like just yesterday.
I still remember the whole day. I remember the pain, I remember the tears, and I remember everyones eager faces as we made our way to Floor 3 at the hospital to see what Pat was going to be.

I remember the tear filled first months(not tears of joy) , the anxiety ridden nights, and me thinking I was never going to have more kids since I was having such a hard time.

But then I look at my bright eyed, smart little walking son and I can hardly remember how little he was.
I see little babies in the mall (or where ever) and I forget that Carter was once THAT tiny.
7 lbs. Thats it! Its hard to believe that only 6 months ago he learned to sit on his own, I barely remember the days of being able to put him in the crib or on the floor and he wouldnt have moved and inch while I was gone! Boy, I miss those days!!

Not everything has gone according to plan in the last 12 months, but thats life!
In some ways I am the exact mother I want to be, and in other ways I feel a tiny bit of failure (just a little).

I wanted a natural labour, and thats exactly what I got.
I wanted to breastfeed him for a year, but I was only able to for 4 months.
I didnt want to give him a soother, but when he took 5 sucks of it and he drifted off to sleepyland I just couldnt take that away from him.
I wanted him to be a strong, independent boy, so we dont make a big deal out of it when he falls down or Cheeko knocks him over.

Having Carter has changed everyones lives. Most times good, other times not so much.
Being a parent isnt an easy job, but its been the most rewarding.

I am looking forward to going back to work, but Im sure that will wear off my lunchtime my first day back!

Carter has started at his dayhome as of last week and he LOVES it, but I knew he would.
I was very fortunate to meet Tania in our prenatal classes, but it wasnt until our Playgroup was formed that I got to meet a really great group of Moms who really helped me out.
Im so glad I was able to meet them, and spend a majority of our first year together and have other people there to tell you its OK, and that your child isnt weird!

When I drop Carter off, I dont feel like Im leaving him with a stranger.
Carter loves Tania and I know that this is going to be a great fit for our family, and it will make my return to work a lot less stressful, since I already feel like Im abandoning him.

I was saying to Mark last night that I cant wait for him to grow up.
I look forward to doing finger painting on a cold winter weekend, or going camping and him riding his bike in the campground. I look forward to having a handful of kids over for his birthday parties and taking them swimming and bowling and all that fun stuff. He can have friends over for sleepovers, and he can go to the Grandparents house and get spoiled for a whole weekend. We can stay up late on the weekend and watch movies. We can bake cookies together and run around at the park. I cant wait!

But never again am I going to wish for him to grow up.

This year went amazingly fast. I am so glad I got to spend this time at home and watch my little boy grow and discover.
Almost makes we want to do it again right now!!




At 12 months, Carter:
- is 21 lbs
- is in 12 months clothes
- is walking and even running (started a few days after he was 11 months)
- is so interested in food. Will try to grab our plates when hes already eaten is own supper
- is on homo milk, no more formula!!!
- is always talking. He cant do anything without being a motormouth
- always wants to be picked up. If I am sitting then he will try to pull himself onto me, and when we stand he pulls at our legs to be picked up. SO annoying
- still obssessed with the TV. Turns it sideways, smacks it, turns it on and off
- copies sounds he hears, like coughing, laughing, yawning, horns
- knows that if he fake coughs that we will ALWAYS look at him, so thats his new highchair trick
-loves Cheeko, always giving him hugs and crawling on him
- is so affectionate. He will kiss and hug his stuffed animals
- started to throw temper tantrums (already?!) when he doesnt get what he wants. Not giving in to him, Im setting the rules now!
- throws everything, his toys, his bottle and even his food. Might be a baseball player
- plays hard. Hes always banging things and throwing things and generally being as rough on stuff as possible
-tries to dress himself. He tried to put his shoe on the other day
- loves pushing the kitchen chairs around

T-1 = 11

So 1 more little month until CLo turns ONE!!!!

At 11 months, Carter:

- is 19lbs 10 oz. Need to beef him up a couple more pounds to turn his carseat around. YaY!!!

- is 29 inches

- is moving out of 9 month stuff into 12 month stuff

- speaking of clothes, this kid is spoiled. He has more clothes than he will ever wear. Kinda want baby #2 to be another boy, then the clothes will be used well, AND we dont have to do this again with girl clothes. Girls clothes are 20 times cuter than boy clothes, so we would be in trouble!!

- is thisclose to walking. He has taken lots of steps, the most being 5

- loves to stand, perfected his standing while on holidays

- will only walk when he is busy playing and doesnt realise he's doing it. He will just fall or bend his legs if we try to get him to walk

- is getting his 3rd tooth on the top...sooooo much drool

- getting more hair, slowly but surely

- has started to point

- hates socks and will usually pull his shoes off to eat them

- was in his first earthquake, too bad he'll never remember!

- went to the ocean for the first time

- went to BC and the US for the first time

- makes friends everywhere we go, he's a little flirt

- tries to drink the bath water. So gross

- helps dress and undress himself

- is so very, very determined. Wont stop until he gets whatever he is after

Double Digits!

Ten sounds so much older than nine, but alas, my big boy is 10 months old.

At 10 months, Carter is:

- 19 lbs 11oz

- 28ish inches.(hes too squirmy to get an accurate reading) Mr Shorty....always have to roll his pant legs up!

- is wearing some 6-12 months stuff, lots of 9 months stuff and some 12 month stuff.

- is getting his top 2 teeth at the same time right now, complete with a teething cold. I still hate teething!

- chats all the time, and has said Dog a couple times and Hi Daddy

- still has the cutest dang smile and dimple

- dances by bending his knees and bopping up and down, as well as stomping his right foot

- has gone on his first camping trip in our new (to us) trailer, and it was not as successful as I had hoped

- loves to share anything and everything. Even offered his toy to the ladies on The View when Cheeko didnt want it (we watch too much TV!)

- doesnt like Treehouse TV but loves watching the news. No Barney or Dora in this house!

- makes the click sound with his tongue

- LOVES to self feed! He especially loves eating Cheerios. and toast with a little bit of jam.

- is allergic to kiwi and yogurt

-is always grabbing at our plates, he wants to eat everything- he also loves water. Loves drinking it, and playing with it. Bath time is a mess, he is always in Cheekos dish and I even caught him reaching in the toilet once when I left the seat up (GROSS!)

- loves to stand on things and crawl over things. He will push his toys up to the TV stand then stand on top of them, and it always climbing on the highchair. He loves to stand on my feet or legs when I am on the ground with him

- stands on his tippy toes, which especially hurts when he is standing on my legs and digs his tiny toes into my thigh

- has stood on his own a few times for quite a long time (6+ seconds)

- will put his ear to the ground and look under the coffee table to his toys on the other side

- has taken a step back in the walking on his own department, since he has taken many falls on the face, and discovered that he can drop down to his butt, crawl and stand back up to where he wants to be. Might not be an early walker after all

- cries when told no, or he cant have what he wants

- hates anything on his head. Always rips his hat off in the sun, and his toque off during our morning walks (yes, very Canadian of me)
- has an obsession with the dog bed and dog bones

9 Months!

My sweet baby is rapidly growing into a walking, talking moving machine!

He is full of energy and life and there is never a dull moment in this house anymore.

Nothing is safe from him, not even Cheeko.

At 9 months Carter:

- is 19lbs even

- is 27.5 inches long

- is wearing mostly 9 month clothing

- crawls and is everwhere checking things out

- is learning to climb the stairs

- can go from his belly to standing (this is his new thing in the crib and makes for awful sleep since he always wants to stand)

- still walks like a pro. He cruises all over the living room and even tries to walk away from the table and will meet the ground with his head

- will drop a toy while standing at the table or couch to figure out how to bend down and pick it up, and has been getting more and more successful at picking them up

- will use his toes to get his knees off the ground when crawling, so he goes into the downward dog yoga position and tries to stand up

-is starting to eat with his fingers. He will eat bananas and cheerios, and is pretty good about getting them into his mouth

- is a bad eater now. He used to open his mouth wide and want food, now I have to trick him into opening his mouth and his shoves his hands in his mouth and gets food all over them then he will rub his food hands together and make a big game out of it. He wastes more than he eats

- is eating chicken, beef and fish, as well as some veggies and fruit

- sleeps on his stomach and will bring his legs up under him so his butt is in the air

- laughs at me when I tell him 'No'

- says Mama, Dada, Nana, Baba and Hi

- needs to work on his inside voice, everything is at volume 10 when he is playing

- loves Cheeko endlessly. Crawls to him all the time, plays with his nails and his collar and laughs at him all the time

- waves sometimes. I taught the wave and the clap too close together and will end up doing a mixture of the 2

- hates being splashed in the face at the pool, but goes nuts splashing in the tub

8 months

Another month has zipped by!

Its hard to believe how much he will grow in the next 4 months.
He will learn more words and learn to walk, he will eat food in its original form and he will hopefully grow some hair!

At 8 months, Carter:
- is 17lbs 6 oz (not bad considering the weight loss he had when he was sick)
- is 27.5 inches long
- is moving into 9 month clothes
- cruises the coffee table like a pro and turns to walk away from it
- will stay on his hands and knees but still cant figure out how to crawl
- will pivot all over the place on his tummy
- has his 2 bottom teeth
- loves food. I am starting to make it thicker and chunkier for him. Going to be trying meats soon
- says Mama. He even says blah blah blah, just like Ke$ha. He is close to saying Hi and we are working on Dada
- recognizes his little friends
- play (pretty) well with his friends
- loves watches and rings
- has had cold #3....but they seem to be teething related
- has had an overnight trip to the hospital, and his first band aid

Grateful

After this past weekend, I realize I have a lot to be thankful for.


While sitting in the sterile hospital, watching my fragile sick boy just lay there, listening to the haunting cries of other babies/kids in the wing, I never though I could miss my seemingly ordinary days so much.

I am so grateful for:

-my little boys chubby arms; even though he lost at least a pound and a half, it took 3 doctors to find a vein so it means he is still healthy enough to thrive


-my rocking chair; then I could rock Carter comfortably and smoothly while he depended on me to make his world better


-noisy toys; it means Carter is smart enough to turn them on


-loud screams; my baby has enough energy to produce vocals


-his desire to walk; it means he has determination, a mind of his own


-belly laughs; it means he happy and has a personality

-our family and friends; we can always count on them to help us out in time of need.


I know that with a boy, especially one with Mark's sickness DNA that we will probably end up in the ER more than once, I never thought it would be within his first year.

As a parent, we all have to go through these things.

I will be better prepared for the next time, and we all have to make mistakes to improve.